


Champagne Problems

by fourtimesaroundthesun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abrupt Ending, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst with a Happy Ending, Failed Proposal, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Personal Growth, Rated T for language and alcohol, Unhealthy Relationships (at the beginning), ambiguous setting, baker!doyoung, bisexual!doyoung, dotae endgame, graphic designer!taeyong, gratuitous use of meet-cutes in bars, hand-wavy timeline, tw: negative self-talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28465143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourtimesaroundthesun/pseuds/fourtimesaroundthesun
Summary: Taeyong turns down a marriage proposal.  He only falls in love afterwards.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	Champagne Problems

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by "Champagne Problems" by Taylor Swift. [mv](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMpqCRF7TKg)
> 
> This is an old headcanon that I decided to write. This was written over the course of a couple of hours, so I may embellish it in the future, but I wanted to get it out for the time being. Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Taeyong knows it’s a toxic trait, but he wants to _break_ Dongyoung, even when Dongyoung is being endearingly sweet. _Especially_ when he’s being endearingly sweet.

With Dongyoung, everything is easy and natural. The two of them first met in university, starting off friends before progressing to something more. Their family and friends know each other and love each other. Dongyoung himself knows Taeyong better than anyone else, probably better than Taeyong knows himself. When their relationship first began, Taeyong took comfort in that—took comfort in the way Dongyoung was able to quiet the harsh internal voice in Taeyong’s head that told him he wasn’t good enough, that he doesn’t deserve love. Lately, though, it just seems inconvenient that Dongyoung knows him so well.

When Taeyong is able to take a step back—which he isn’t able to often nowadays—Taeyong knows Dongyoung is just trying to show that he cares for Taeyong. However, it just makes Taeyong resentful—it feels like Taeyong is endlessly accumulating debt that he can never repay Dongyoung. 

So when Dongyoung asks Taeyong to marry him at his family Christmas party, in front of all of his friends and family, Taeyong doesn’t even hesitate to say no. 

“I think we should break up, actually,” Taeyong hears himself tell Dongyoung coldly, dropping his hand from where it’s intertwined with Dongyoung’s.

Taeyong watches as the earnest, adoring expression on Dongyoung’s face turns sour and crestfallen. Taeyong feels a sick sense of victory. Still, Dongyoung is stubborn, and he tries again. “Please, Taeyong. It’s okay, we don’t have to get engaged now. I can wait. Taeyong, I know you think you don’t deserve love, but I love you. Let me show you. Let me help you learn to love yourself.”

Taeyong irrationally feels a sense of _rage_. Where does Dongyoung get off airing Taeyong’s dirty laundry in front of their friends and family? “I said no,” Taeyong sneers emphatically, and swivels on his foot to storm out of Dongyoung’s childhood home.

He probably doesn’t intend to be overheard, but Taeyong catches Donghyun, Dongyoung’s older brother, comforting Dongyoung as Taeyong leaves. “Dongyoung-ah, let him go. It’s not your job to fix him.”

***

In retrospect, Taeyong probably could have thought this out a little better. They were supposed to stay with Dongyoung’s parents until the new year, but Dongyoung cuts the visit short. Even so, they still have to drive back to their shared apartment together.

Taeyong quietly enters the passenger side of the car. He thinks about sitting in the backseat, but long car rides always make him a little nauseous. Dongyoung starts the car and puts his wallet in the cupholder. The wallet falls slightly ajar, and Taeyong can see a picture of himself. Taeyong tries to swallow down the bile that rises in his throat that tastes strangely like regret.

The drive back into the city is silent, Dongyoung’s hands white-knuckled on the wheel. When they arrive in their designated parking spot, Dongyoung pauses for a beat and then asks, “Why?”

“Why what?” Taeyong responds, confused.

“Why did you say no?” Dongyoung presses.

Taeyong doesn’t know how to answer that. Isn’t entirely sure, himself, and certainly can’t articulate the bitterness he’s developed towards Dongyoung. He stays silent, instead, and hears Dongyoung sigh and leave the car to open the trunk.

As they walk towards their apartment, luggage rolling behind them, Dongyoung broaches, “This was your apartment first, so I’ll move out.” Taeyong doesn’t argue.

“It might take me a couple of days to get my belongings in order and find a new apartment, but I’ll try to make myself scarce,” Dongyoung states. Taeyong nods wordlessly.

***

Watching Dongyoung move out is an unexpectedly emotional event. Taeyong observes as the traces of their shared life slowly disappear. The penguin plushie vanishes from their couch; the paint-by-number canvases are taken off their walls. When the provenance of the item is unknown, Dongyoung seems to err on the side of keeping it in the apartment, and Taeyong thinks it’s Dongyoung’s last way of taking care of him. Then again, maybe he just doesn’t want to move as many things.

One day, Taeyong returns home from work to see Donghyun helping Dongyoung move out. He blinks, and they’re gone.

***

It’s about a week after Dongyoung’s moved out that Johnny drags Taeyong out for coffee on a weekend.

“You look like shit,” Johnny supplies helpfully.

“Thanks,” Taeyong replies sarcastically. He hasn’t been sleeping well, unused to sleeping alone.

“What’s on your mind?” Johnny asks kindly.

Taeyong shrugs.

“Really?” Johnny raises an eyebrow disbelievingly. “You turn down a marriage proposal from your boyfriend of seven years and you have nothing to say?”

Taeyong shrugs again.

“I’m only going to tell you this once,” Johnny declares sternly, “and only then because I care about you. You let a good guy go, man. I know you’re self-sabotaging, but this is extreme even for you. You’ve got to figure yourself out.”

Taeyong tries to summon the self-righteous anger he felt the night of the proposal, but only finds exhaustion. “Whose side are you on anyway,” Taeyong weakly grouches. 

“I don’t take sides,” Johnny answers. “I care about you both.”

Johnny wisely drops the subject, and they spend the rest of the morning chitchatting.

***

They have a high-profile client at work, and Taeyong has been working himself spare trying to satisfy their client. No matter what he designs, though, there always seems to be another “suggestion” for improvement.

When Taeyong gets home, he tries to channel his negative energy into cleaning his apartment. He tries to drown out the harsh internal voice in his mind, and it works at first. Eventually, though, he collapses on the couch exhausted, unable to fight anymore.

Sickeningly sweet, the demon in his mind gently whispers to Taeyong. You’re worthless, it says. You can’t even get a design right. You can’t even keep a relationship without it turning corrosive. Everyone’s probably talking about how lucky Dongyoung was that you turned him down, since you’re so fucked in the head. You don’t deserve Dongyoung. You don’t deserve anyone. You’re useless.

Taeyong cries, and cries, until he can’t cry anymore.

***

It takes a long time, but Taeyong starts to get used to living alone. Gets used to cooking for one, gets used to the silence, gets used to sleeping alone. Tries to get used to the absence of Dongyoung and the comfort and steadfastness he provided. He ignores the pain of missing Dongyoung. What good would that do, anyway? It was his doing that Dongyoung wasn’t around anymore.

The project for the client from hell finally ends, and Taeyong goes out for drinks with the rest of his team to celebrate. Taeyong goes a bit overboard with the drinks, and the rest of the night is a blur until he finds himself staggering to his front door, his co-workers saying goodbye as they drive away.

It’s a terrible idea, Taeyong thinks to himself.

He calls Dongyoung anyway.

The phone rings once, twice, and then Dongyoung picks up.

“Hello?” Dongyoung’s voice sounds soft and hoarse, as if he was awoken from sleep.

“Dongyoung!” Taeyong giggles. “I miss you!”

“Taeyong, you’re drunk,” Dongyoung responds. 

This doesn’t deter Taeyong. “’m sorry I turned you down, Doie. The mean voice in my head got to me, you know? Miss the comfort you provided, physically and emotionally. Miss your back hugs and eyelid kisses. Miss having someone who understands me around. Miss the way you’d make the mean voice in my head go quiet. Miss the way you made me feel wanted and loved. Miss—”

“Taeyong,” Dongyoung replies firmly. “If you really mean it, call me when you’re sober.” 

Taeyong doesn’t call the next morning.

***

They seem to have traded one awful client for an even more awful one, and Taeyong staggers home, miserable. The demon in his mind beckons, and Taeyong finds himself slipping down the whirlpool of self-hatred.

It’s when he hits rock bottom that he has a fleeting moment of clarity. I can’t live like this anymore, he tells himself.

***

The next morning, Taeyong makes an appointment to speak with a therapist.

***

It’s hard work, stitching yourself back together, but Taeyong is more determined than he ever has been in his life. He begins to keep his body active through dance lessons, learns to meditate, and records at least one positive thing that happened to him every day. With his therapist, he starts talking about how he’s always believed he was worthless, and how this arose from being _different_ that others weren’t always supportive of. He realizes more clearly that his self-loathing made him push Dongyoung away.

It isn’t easy. Progress isn’t linear. But slowly, steadily, Taeyong finds himself happier and more at ease with himself than he’s ever been. And best of all, he did it himself.

***

Taeyong isn’t sure what he expects from Dongyoung when he walks to the bakery Dongyoung owns after hours. Wants to show Dongyoung how much he’s grown, maybe. Dongyoung would be proud. Wants Dongyoung to take him back, maybe. Taeyong pictures Dongyoung tidying up the shop before he heads home and quickens his step.

What he doesn’t expect is seeing a beautiful girl kissing Dongyoung on his lips as he removes his apron.

***

Taeyong rushes home, tears in his eyes. He welcomes the demon in his mind with open arms. Who are you to think Dongyoung would wait around, the voice says. Dongyoung probably never cared about you. Here you thought you were so strong but look at you now, felled by witnessing Dongyoung with someone new. You’re weak. You’re pathetic.

***

Taeyong wakes up the next morning, spent from all the crying. If he was being honest with himself, he had let his hopes up. Before the proposal, he had harbored so much resentment towards Dongyoung, after the proposal, he had just tried to ignore his feelings. It wasn’t until he saw Dongyoung kissing the girl that he realized how much he loved Dongyoung, how much Dongyoung meant to him. Even more, he was ashamed of how easily he fell into old habits. Even now, he hears a siren call to self-destruct that's difficult to resist.

Dongyoung wouldn’t want that, Taeyong realizes. Dongyoung had wanted Taeyong to love himself, had been willing to walk beside Taeyong as he learned how. But Taeyong had made all this progress on his own, and he's not about to lose it now.

***

It takes a long time, but Taeyong tries to be at peace with the situation. Relationships weren’t just about love, but timing. Taeyong hadn’t been in the right mindset to be in a relationship at the time. He really did wish Dongyoung well, and if Dongyoung was happy in his relationship, well, that was all Taeyong could ask for.

If Taeyong sometimes indulges in what-ifs, well, only he has to know.

***

Taeyong’s in a bar with his co-workers when he spots him. Taeyong would recognize that wide, gummy smile anywhere.

Dongyoung is laughing, his head tilted back, and though it’s been a long time, Taeyong would be lying if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat.

Taeyong makes his excuses to his co-workers before he approaches the table. Now that he’s closer, he can see that there’s no wedding band on Dongyoung’s finger—and that he’s sitting with Donghyun. Taeyong panics, almost talks himself out of it, but he presses on.

“Hello, Dongyoung,” he hears himself say. Dongyoung turns to look at him, eyes wide with surprise.

Donghyun discreetly and politely excuses himself, and Dongyoung gestures to Taeyong to sit. 

It’s very on brand for Dongyoung, Taeyong thinks to himself. Kind and understanding to a fault. Inviting Taeyong to sit with him even though the last interactions they’d had together included a failed marriage proposal and a drunken phone call. 

“So,” Dongyoung laughs, “no easy way to go about this. How are you doing?”

“I’ve grown,” Taeyong replies, and Dongyoung raises his eyebrow in surprise. Taeyong tells Dongyoung about the therapy, the dance, the meditation, the journaling. Dongyoung smiles wide in happiness. 

“I’m so glad,” Dongyoung responds. Taeyong knows he means it.

“How about you?” Taeyong asks.

“Ah, why the hell not, I might as well tell you,” Dongyoung chuckles. “I was dating a girl, Sejeong, but she broke up with me because I was ‘too nice’. It’s starting to become a trend, isn’t it?”

Taeyong feels something twist in his stomach. He doesn’t want Dongyoung to think that, doesn’t want Dongyoung to think that he’s anything other than perfect just as he is.

Taeyong must look worried, because Dongyoung reassures him, “Ah, it’s okay, I’m over it. I’m not going to change myself. I just must not have found the right person yet.”

Somehow, Taeyong feels even worse. Me, Taeyong wants to say. I want it to be me.

Taeyong tries to summon his courage. “I actually, ah, wanted to reconnect with you awhile back. I went to the bakery, and, um, I saw you with I guess Sejeong? And, well, I figured you might not want to hear from me…”

Dongyoung’s eyes widen in surprise. “Let’s reconnect now, then,” Dongyoung proposes.

“It’s a deal,” Taeyong replies.

It isn’t a promise of forever, but for Taeyong, it’s enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> ...and they lived happily ever after!
> 
> Happy new year! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated :)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/4xaroundthesun)


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